开怀一笑 等
http://www.100md.com
2006年9月28日
JOKES 开怀一笑
Plane Crash 坠机前的恐慌
A transatlantic flight was having a rough time over the ocean. Suddenly a voice came over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water".
"Oh, stewardess! Are there any sharks in the ocean below?" asked a little old lady, terrified.
"Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and legs. The flavour is disgusting to sharks."
"And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me any more?" asked the little lady.
"Oh, they'll still eat you, they just won't enjoy it as much."
Silly Questions 如此提问
How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Footprints in the butter.
How can you tell when there is an elephant under your bed?
Your nose touches the ceiling.
Why don't elephants ride bikes?
They don't have a thumb to ring the bell.
Quotations名人妙语
Procrastination is the absolute essence of any endeavour, but it's not just writing novels, it could be the situation of paying a gas bill. People will basically do anything to avoid doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing.
Ben Elton, British comedian and novelist
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
E. B. White, American humorist
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humour to console him for what he is.
Francis Bacon, English philosopher
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
Frank Moore Colby, American encyclopaedia editor and essayist
A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.
Oscar Levant, American musician and author
, 百拇医药
Plane Crash 坠机前的恐慌
A transatlantic flight was having a rough time over the ocean. Suddenly a voice came over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water".
"Oh, stewardess! Are there any sharks in the ocean below?" asked a little old lady, terrified.
"Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and legs. The flavour is disgusting to sharks."
"And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me any more?" asked the little lady.
"Oh, they'll still eat you, they just won't enjoy it as much."
Silly Questions 如此提问
How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Footprints in the butter.
How can you tell when there is an elephant under your bed?
Your nose touches the ceiling.
Why don't elephants ride bikes?
They don't have a thumb to ring the bell.
Quotations名人妙语
Procrastination is the absolute essence of any endeavour, but it's not just writing novels, it could be the situation of paying a gas bill. People will basically do anything to avoid doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing.
Ben Elton, British comedian and novelist
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
E. B. White, American humorist
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humour to console him for what he is.
Francis Bacon, English philosopher
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
Frank Moore Colby, American encyclopaedia editor and essayist
A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.
Oscar Levant, American musician and author
, 百拇医药